I fear

       oddly now I feel entangled
lost from hope; beyond all fear
breathing short; you leave me breathless.
breathing short; you disappear.

  (You don't even love me do you
   Flying high so I can't find you)

I fear

     memories of near perfection
dreams would ever feel so real.
almost of a true intention
dreams could never cause me fear.

  (Some conquered hope conceived in fiction
   On life-support awaits conviction)

I fear

E.E. Cummings wannabes

E.E. Cummings has, in my opinion, some of the best poetry ever (also inclusive is his portfolio is some of the worst, but like I said, IMO). These are my attempts to produce something similar to his work.
---

If only I could < to insert word here >
then nothing would have (but only would wish)
and only could all (but not with a kiss)

If only I knew < what insert I now >
then (not yet but so,) yes it would be nice
and pleasant (but only wouldn't suffice)

---

slow as is fast
first has since last
been is a thing of the past
into not me, but eye within I

so

v
o
i
d

(Damn the glass)

One by One

I was looking through an old English binder when I found this. I'm not sure how I feel about this, I don't even feel like I wrote it. But either way, I think it's pretty good.

One by One
Alone they come
They drop their high, sighs back here fly
If ever they knew what all they now know
Trade it, they would, change what they sew
Change from the start
Change every lie for
Sovereignty, honestly, purity, heart
To be rewarded in eternity’s sky

[written: 2005?]
[by: Josh White]

Abby

Why does perfect love always travel with despair?
Why are the flawless time accompanied by flaw?
Why when I am up do I fall so far behind?
Why must brilliant beauty make me blind?
Why, save the time that I'm with you?

You, find me here, draw me close, Ill be near.
One look into your eyes, and I cast away my fears.
Your love shining through endless night, darkest tomb.
I forget to be depressed every time that I'm with you.

I dream of you beside me, but I have this distant fear.
Reassure my faith; say you'll always be right here.
This feeling that you give me, I wish I knew just how.
I wish I'd never said I loved you, for what can I tell you now?
Every moment meaning less; every day devoid of you.

You, find me here, draw me close, Ill be near.
One look into your eyes, and I cast away my fears.
Come, in my arms, let me kiss you, Abby dear.
Come, in my arms, let me hold you through the years.


One look, to you, and I forget my fears.
Nothing else affects me, only you can dry my tears.

But still I have this thought,
If this all comes to naught...

My only fear is failing you.

[Written by me]
[Date: 5.2.07]

Mystery

Please tell me
Why should I be happy
When the world around me is burning to the ground
There’s nothing left around me
It smolders and it cascades down
This chaos fills my cavities
And I still long for more
For something to live on for
Something not a waste of time
The shadow of my empty life
I’m doing all I plan to do
It's all a waste of time

I let go
And I swiftly lose my life’s control
My path is set, I’m never gonna change
This ways forever mine
And I continue
on and on while all you stay behind
leaving me in void
You see though, I’m smiling
I’ll still rejoice
Without you by my side
I’ll leave this world behind
Forever out of mind

Forever
I’ll always live in discontent
Every move I make regret
This paradox of mine
These wounds won’t heal in time
Suffocating
I’m dying here, I never find relief
From the angel of deceit
The shadow from my nightmares
Resisting him when I’m alone
He coaxes me in darkness
And he will not condone

[Written by Josh White]
[Estimate Date: 2.14.05]
[Re-titled: 10.28.05]
[Minor Revision: 1.27.07]

Nonentity

Everyone is here
No one comes for me
(stuck in repetition)
I’m tired of being the middle man
The backup plan
Why can’t someone be here for me?
(someone just for me)

Someone set me free
The nonentity
I just want to believe
Somebody’s there for me

Always be with me
Give me what I need
Help me find myself
Make your entity me

Searching for something real
I’ve stored up your love
(running on the cache)
How can I be with you?
I wanna dream with you
I’m being held back
(I need to get on track)

Someone set me free
The nonentity
I just want to believe
Somebody’s there for me

Always be with me
Give me what I need
Help me find myself
Make your entity me

Somebody that’s just for me

[Written by Josh White]
[Date 8.13.04]
[edited 8.15.04]

Missing You

I reveled ever moment I was
With you
The one who made me truly loved
Was you
I could talk (and know I’m safe)
To you
I found one who had my case
In you

All the defense walls came down
Near you
I loved every sight and sound
Of you
My life was great (or so I thought)
Hence you
But you aren't here and I am not
With you

And I miss you


[2004 Probably]
Not the same feeling anymore.

On the Edge

In the middle of
The silence and forgotten
When it all goes wrong
And I feel like I’m lost in it all
When I can’t find a way
To make it all go away
I stand at the edge of the falls
And I play through it one more time
In the havoc of my mind
All the pain and the hate and the gull
But I just back away
like any other day
I’ve still got to answer the call

Go ahead and judge the edge
Believe you're beyond the danger
So hard to see with blinders on your eyes
Unveil your eyes and see
Judge it one more time,
You’re not that far from me

You're on the edge with me

In the memory of
The past and the present
While I roam through them
I cut through the fabric of time
And I stop to view the tape
Just to wish for escape
From the mosaic of emotion in my mind
From all the Jealousy
All of the weak in me
And the anger and the love that I find
Its just too hard to believe
That this stuff I perceive
Is somewhere inside of me

Go ahead and judge the edge
Believe you're beyond the danger
So hard to see with blinders on your eyes
Unveil your eyes and see
Judge it one more time,
You’re not that far from me

You're on the edge with me

[written by josh white]
[revised on 7.24.04]
[chorus added on 8.13.04]